1_11_06 Meeting Minutes
The Corduroy Appreciation Club convened at 7 p.m. on January 11, the date which second-most resembles Corduroy, at The Dove Parlor at 228 Thompson Street in Manhattan. It was a rainy night.
- President Rohan opened the meeting and welcomed the attendees, which numbered approximately 125. The evening’s keynote performer, Adrian “Raisin” Foster, kicked off the meeting. Raisin, a popular ???? in his own mind and Corduroy-crazed folk singer, is a regular on “The Late Show with Conan O’Brien.” Raisin sang a very humorous song about Corduroy. Members were purported to be laughing to the point of tears. After Raisin’s performance, he was presented with the Corduroy Appreciation Club’s illustrious award for Exemplary Appreciation of Corduroy. Raisin was surprised, but had prepared an acceptance speech in the form of an emotional letter to Corduroy. A partial quote:
“ Dear Corduroy, You are my best friend. My hanky made of you dries my tears. My vest of you hugs me warmly all day long. My shirt, sport coat, jacket, cape and blanket of you save me money on heating bills. My pillow made of you takes my dreams in its ridges and when I wake in the morning I have the lines of your corduroy kiss on my face. My swimsuit made of you makes people notice me at the pool. My socks made of you keep my little piggies warm. My underwear made of you makes me feel like royalty. My condom made of you—has never been used. I love you, I’m starting to cry. Thank you for drying my tears.”
Raisin, apparently overcome with emotion, then had to leave the meeting.
- Rohan announced to the club that the CAC’s public image should be one of mystery and intrigue and that members should closely guard meeting occurrences. Rohan urged members to actively try to recruit honorable and true Corduroy appreciators. Rohan addressed the issue of defective membership cards and told members to try ironing the corduroy back onto the paper.
- Rohan spoke about the ban on taxi drivers wearing corduroy in East Anglia England, circulated a petition, and asked all members to sign.
- Members David Valazzi, Andrew Rosenstock, Jennifer Bonfante and Paul McMahon presented ideas for a club handshake.
- The theme of the 1/11 meeting was corduroy inspired artwork. Seven works of art were presented and analyzed by renowned art historian Dr. Timothy Rohan. Rohan is the brother of CAC President Rohan. Dr. Rohan spoke about art created by Corduroy Appreciation Club Members Rene Santiago, Halle Cisco, Robert Lemon, Adie Russell, Russell Spina, and Oona Stern. Dr. Rohan, in a cavalier moment, called for an anti-denim movement. “Down with denim! Down with denim!” he chanted.
- Corduroy Appreciation Club Member Jennifer Bonfante presented the club with a Corduroy whale, which she had made. The plush, stuffed whale, it was said, would serve as club mascot. Rohan thanked Bonfante and asked for name nominations for the whale.
- CAC Members David Root and Jason Oranzo stormed the meeting podium and presented Rohan with a Corduroy-clad figure complete with membership button. The figure looked strangely like President Rohan.
- CAC Members Margaret Milnes, Geoffrey O’Donnell and Erin Hicks presented rousing Corduroy-inspired poems.
- A Levi’s television commercial entitled “Badger” was viewed. In the humorous spot, a badger, it is implied, thinks the Corduroy sound is a mating call and thus chases an unsuspecting Corduroy wearer around. Due to popular demand, the commercial was watched twice.
- The meeting was adjourned.